CFNM stands for Clothed Female, Naked Male fetish, a form of erotic humiliation. Erotic humiliation is the process of deriving sexual pleasure from the emotions caused from being humiliated and demeaned.
In the CFNM fetish, the male is naked and exposed in front of the fully clothed female. Humiliation is derived from being naked in her presence. She sees your physical imperfections, while she stands in front of you, fully clothed and looking beautiful. Humiliation is also a psychological process. Realizing, that by being completely naked in front of her, you are raw, exposed, and completely vulnerable.
She could tie you up, handcuff you, or any number of things that would leave you completely helpless and at her mercy. At any given moment, without warning, and for no reason, she could cause you pain. Her stiletto heels, so very close to your cock and balls. Her endless supply of whips, paddles, CBT devices, and other toys. Any one of these things could be used in the blink of an eye and without warning. The very fact that you are aware of the possibilities excites you even further.
Sometimes, but not always, CFNM also involves small penis humiliation (SPH), coerced cocksucking, feminization, and other fetishes revolving around erotic humiliation. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and nearly all fetishes involve erotic humiliation in some form or another.
In erotic humiliation, the humiliation does not need to be sexual. It is, in fact, usually not sexual in nature, though sexual pleasure is derived from the powerful emotions experienced as a result of the humiliation. In the case of D/s play, giving control to someone else, knowing you are at their mercy, is a form of erotic humiliation. The way this humiliation is delivered differs. Depending on the tastes of those involved, it can be anything from CFNM, spanking, feminization, objectification, body worship, coerced bi, and more.
Erotic humiliation can also occur outside of BDSM and D/s role-play. For example, a man with an exceptionally small penis may place himself in a situation where women will see and likely laugh at it. Exhibitionism is a form of erotic humiliation. The process of exposing themselves to unsuspecting others and seeing their reaction triggers powerful emotions and sexual stimulation. Many people enjoy the process of erotic humiliation but do not enjoy D/s play. So instead, they place themselves in situations where they know they will be humiliated.
In such cases, the Mistress may be compelled to laugh at how aroused he has become by being humiliated in such a public way. She may remind him of what a loser he is. And how the rest of the world deserves to see what she already knows. She may also humiliate him further by requiring him to perform demeaning or embarrassing tasks while naked in public.
In much the same way, the exhibitionist whose cock he is sucking will remind him that if he were a real man, he wouldn’t be naked, on his knees, with a cock in his mouth.
Some enjoy erotic humiliation in addition to other forms of sexual pleasure. Others can only derive sexual pleasure from being humiliated. No one knows for certain why humiliation often triggers sexual pleasure. Many say it comes from deep seated feelings of insecurity or inadequacy that were developed in early childhood. Others say it is a learned form of sexual pleasure. As you get older and experience more things, there develops a need to experiment and try new things in order to maintain the same level of excitement.
Whatever the cause, erotic humiliation is quite prevalent, as evidenced by all the porn and other erotica devoted to various forms of erotic humiliation. Quite often, a person does not express the need for erotic humiliation within their relationship for fear of being ridiculed or turned away. So, they look for this stimulation elsewhere, such as online, in BDSM clubs, etc. This seems strange to some because it would seem that being ridiculed would just add to the erotic humiliation. But, in such cases, it does not.